Christmas Stollen cake
I know . . . no sign of broccoli in this. Strange but true.
I'm not a great fan of cake . . . they are so full of shit. Buckets of sugar . . . and chocolate and shit. Disgusting. But that's my last word on the negatives. Oh, and they also make people fat.
And one of the most viewed TV programmes about baking is all about making people even fatter. OK, so I've said my bit.
So why then, a cake. Because it's fucking Christmas, that's why.
You need
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400g flour (that's about 2 heaped cups)
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2 tsp of baking powder
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185g sugar (FFS) . . . that's about 1.5 cups
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1/2 tsp of salt
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1/2 tsp ground mace
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Seeds from 6 cardamom pods crushed
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125g ground almonds (about 1.5 cups)
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125g butter
Mix all these well. Cut in the butter until it's like coarse sand. Then add
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1/2 cup currants
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1/2 cup of raisins
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2 TBSP of candied lemon peel or mixed peel
Mix all these well.
In a large jug add
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1 egg
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250g cream cheese/soft cheese
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1/2 tsp vanilla essence
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1/2 tsp almond essence
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2 TBSP brandy
Do it
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Put the oven on to 190C
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Mix the fuck out of the mixture. Knead the fuck out of it.
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It's quite sticky right?
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Pretty fucking annoying the way it clings to your fingers and hands.
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You should have got your baking pan/cake tin ready before your hands got all mucky, because now you have to line it with butter. Or, if you are super smart, you can buy those liners that you put in cake tins so there's no sticky mess.
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Put the gloop in the container. Or if you want to be rustic, just make a loaf shape and lay it on some baking paper on a baking tray. It'll be fine like that as well.
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Put it in the oven for about 60 mins.
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Let it cool and then dust with icing sugar.
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Taste Christmas.
Tasty, Delicious but not Nutritous